on my mind lately

I have never won a single game of CATAN. I excitedly ordered this game thinking everyone will have a good time and they do. Everyone except me.  I have taught this game to my newbie cousins and still keep on losing. I have tested every superstition, every different color pegs and I still lose. I never lost monopoly or bluff or any other board/card game with this streak Not even carrom, or meri ungliyan tedhi hai bhai. wo bhi ni haari main itni buri tarah. The last time I sucked so bad at something was when I tried to learn badminton. And I never played it again. what the hell yaar universe? kin burey karmo ka insaaf hai ye? haraaya toh haraaya upar se mujhe fir sore loser kyu banaya bhyi?  you don't have to make me lose board games to make me realise I lack braincells. My unemployment is enough proof of that. What is this echo chamber of insufficiency that this age 23 is.

Last night- pitch dark, sleepy eyes and I spotted a silhouette of some unfamiliar, bigger than usual insect in the hallway. I had been hearing the sound of what I suspected to be a cricket for past three hours. But it wasn't some harmless tiddi strolling around. Switched on the light It was a SCORPION. WHAT. THE. HELL?! It froze in the middle of his way to I don't know where. And I took a good thirty second pause to stare.  The survival kicked in. If you know me, I'm incapable of dealing with cockroaches and spiders let alone a poisonous bitchhu. But something got hold of me as I had to free him of his misery using the weapon of self defense called chappal.   Disposed his body. Was in shock. Couldn't sleep. Analysed how could he have found his way inside Overthought about a possible infestation. Scared about possible nightmares. but I'm just being haunted in my waking life.  so that's that.

I'm a hater. A natural at it. But today someone new topped that hate list and compelled me to go on an unhinged rant about it I love the plant kingdom and hate the animal one (excluding birds and dogs), and today for newer reasons. For the longest time snails had the title of 'Why do you even exist' creatures category and then I dabbled into the skincare world feeling absolutely sad that they exist in Korea. I wish I could airlift them all into a place where they won't be exploited for their slimy existence-but I'm just an unemployed girl with lots of opinions. So yesterday, I was doing the bi-weekly ritual of watering plants in our little garden. The beautiful white rose planted in the memory of Timmy, the lovely Labrador, some lilies my grandfather dearly liked, mint, coriander, random grasses and a lemon tree (more like a shrub).  It delights me to tease the leaves and flowers with a splash of water, tiny pearls on the petals in the backdrop of sunset and tunes o...

Some time ago I asked my artistic (and insanely talented) friend Sakura to draw my portrait.  Today I asked AI to replicate it. Featuring the Kite (from my previous post) and delusions (eternal) Text to AI is my recent obsession. My pinterest is my alter ego.

  Long story short   The in between of a good day and a bad day. The normal days. The nothing special. The 'not much going on'   Long story. I zoom out, zone out From the car in the middle of traffic facing the sign on board Then I Steal a moment to stare at the kites just going in circles in the cloudy sky. So I googled it Apparently its called "kettle"   Horrendous. You are telling me that these elegant beauties are called a domestic tool "kettle"?   You should be getting on a knee and apologize for this sort of stuff. They are royalty of the sky. Bow down.   And from then on, I kept on seeing them. They are the highlight of my year.   There is this tree outside my room, that's dried up. It looks like an extension of its shadow. And its right in the middle of a green pasture. So this kite regularly sat on its branches.   Initially I was confused if it was an eagle/kite and my roommate terrorized me with tales of eagles popping human eyes out....

Just writing, don't know what.